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People UNlike Us [please read track notes]

by Kathleen Martin

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1.
Doughy white middle-aged men RUN the world, run the world Doughy white middle-aged men RUN this world we live in. Doughy white middle-aged men RULE the world, rule the world Doughy white middle-aged men RULE this world we live in. Doughy white middle-aged men RUIN the world, ruin the world Doughy white middle-aged men RUIN this world we live in. So doughy white middle-aged men RUN the world and RUIN the world Doughy white middle-aged men RULE this world we live in. But we will not give in! They RUN this world together, But they won't forever! © KAM 2015
2.
Major Melon Farmer (Airing Off the Side of Caution) [Similarity to any person living (yet dead inside) is no coincidence] Refrain: It's a doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ditty Of a major melon farmer in Jersey City A doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ditty Of a major melon farmer in Jersey City His form is free of diversity Couldn't care less for gender parity It really bites, it's just not right Mostly men of middle age and mainly white Ewww what an ego from Newark to Oswego! He calls the shots across megawatts [Refrain] He thinks he's hip, but he's a dip Who's traveling on a petty power trip It's such a shame he shirks all blame And breaks the rules to always win the game Ewww what an ego! He's no one's true amigo When in the grip of his power trip He pilfered public money To build a vanity Hall For disclosing his full Monty Entertaining none at all. ("Tell me whyyyyy you're so vain!") [Refrain] He's such a troll he has no soul. Wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole In his "mo' hair" suit, he's never cute 'Cause his birthday suit is LOL hirsute Ewww what an ego from Brooklyn to Oswego! He has no taste, an airwaves waste [Over the Refrain] He is the least From west to east. He thinks he's cool, But he's a tool. He's just a jerk At play or work. He's such a putz! He's really nuts.
3.
BIPOLAR VORTEX BOOGIE [DRRRAMA!] M-myyy, Mister! [Drrrama!] You say you don't need it, And yet you go and feed it [Drrrama!] Lying and deceiving, Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!] S-saaay Sister! [Drrrama!] You claim that you hate it, So why do you create it? [Drrrama!] Lying and deceiving, Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!] CHORUS (twice): It's a Bipolar Vortex Boogie It's a Bipolar Vortex Boogie You're falsely positive, And you're positively false! W-whooa, Buster! [Drrrama!] If you try to attract it, You don't wanna subtract it [Drrrama!] Lying and deceiving, Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!] [Drrrama!] [Drrrama!] [Drrrama!]
4.
Amuse me, bemuse me, you can even confuse me But don't abuse me, never bruise me, and never (never ever) contuse me. [I'll cruise you, I'll choose you, and in the end I will misuse you.] Impress me, caress me, you can even possess me But do not stress me, depress me, and never (never ever) suppress me. [I'll get you I bet you, and I'll upset and then forget you.] HE: Wow, I didn't see it coming. SHE: He is such an easy target. HE: Could it be I'm falling for her? SHE: Now I have him in my pocket, uh-huh! Enthuse me, infuse me, you can even peruse me But don't refuse me, accuse me, in the end (bitter end) you will lose me. [I'll do you, and screw you, and in the end I will undo you.] Fascinate me, elate me, you can even captivate me But don't deflate me, berate me, and never (never ever) violate me. [I'll bait you, I'll date you, and in the end I'll prolly hate you.] SHE: Ha, I made you, and then I played you! HE: Ooh, you turned me, but then you turned around and burned me!
5.
Swamp Guinea 03:33
CHORUS: (She's a) Swamp Guinea A nosy ol' biddy (Such a) Swamp Guinea So mean, so skinny (Could be) her name's Cindy Vinny And she puts it over Jimmy (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) 'Cuz Jimmy's always chorin' While Guinea is a-snorin' [CHORUS] She is lackadaisy lazy Always actin' kinda crazy (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) Still Jimmy is a-sweepin' While Guinea is a-sleepin' [CHORUS] She is proud to be a bitch And to never work a stitch (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) Jimmy's sowin' and a-mowin' While Guinea's on her phone [CHORUS] Hubby hasn't got a clue That his Guinea is a shrew (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) 'Cuz Jimmy's chainsawin' And his Guinea's just a-jawin' [CHORUS] BREAK She's a little off her rocker on their porch [gossip scorch!] Never playing with a full one on their deck [what a wreck!] Always up to no good She's pollutin' the 'hood (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) Still Jimmy's garden tillin' While Guinea's just a-chillin' [CHORUS] She's always talkin' smack Making dirty little cracks (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) Yet Jimmy's weed whackin' While Guinea's sittin' back and [CHORUS] Looks of warmed-over death Guinea must be doin' meth (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) Watchin' Jimmy pitchin' twigs She's just suckin' on her cigs [CHORUS] Up the block she walks In a bathrobe and her socks (Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny) While Jimmy's hedge trimmin' She's above-ground swimmin' [CHORUS] Gotta hand it to the Guinea She sure puts one over Jimmy! [CHORUS REPEATED]

about

Songs I and others wrote about the kind of people you want to avoid and hope never to become.

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released July 31, 2015

All tracks performed, arranged, recorded and produced by Kathleen Martin.
Artwork by JT Lindroos, original drawings and tweaked toons.
Richland Woman Blues title by Mississippi John Hurt

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Kathleen Martin Finland

For music fans who think outside the boxy confines of genre labels, find here my original work arranged for and performed on a variety of instruments for sounds ranging from sweet to sassy and reedy to brassy; from lofty to lowdown and soulful to hoedown; from serious to silly and urban to hillbilly. I urge you to click on my production notes/lyrics before or as you push play. ☼♥ ... more

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