People UNlike Us [please read track notes]

by Kathleen Martin

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03:33

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Songs I and others wrote about the kind of people you want to avoid and hope never to become.

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released July 31, 2015

All tracks performed, arranged, recorded and produced by Kathleen Martin.
Artwork by JT Lindroos, original drawings and tweaked toons.
Richland Woman Blues title by Mississippi John Hurt

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Kathleen Martin New Albany, Indiana

For music fans who think outside the boxy confines of genre labels, find here my original work arranged for and performed on a variety of instruments for sounds ranging from sweet to sassy and reedy to brassy; from lofty to lowdown and soulful to hoedown; from serious to silly and urban to hillbilly. I urge you to click on my production notes/lyrics before or as you push play. ☼♥ ... more

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Track Name: Beyond the Planet of DOUGHY WHITE MIDDLE-AGED MEN Is a Major C Change in A Chord with Mother Earth
Doughy white middle-aged men
RUN the world, run the world
Doughy white middle-aged men
RUN this world we live in.

Doughy white middle-aged men
RULE the world, rule the world
Doughy white middle-aged men
RULE this world we live in.

Doughy white middle-aged men
RUIN the world, ruin the world
Doughy white middle-aged men
RUIN this world we live in.

So doughy white middle-aged men
RUN the world and RUIN the world
Doughy white middle-aged men
RULE this world we live in.
But we will not give in!
They RUN this world together,
But they won't forever! © KAM 2015
Track Name: Major Melon Farmer (in Jersey City)
Major Melon Farmer (Airing Off the Side of Caution)

[Similarity to any person living (yet dead inside) is no coincidence]

Refrain: It's a doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ditty
Of a major melon farmer in Jersey City
A doo-wop doo-wop doo-wop ditty
Of a major melon farmer in Jersey City

His form is free of diversity
Couldn't care less for gender parity
It really bites, it's just not right
Mostly men of middle age and mainly white
Ewww what an ego from Newark to Oswego!
He calls the shots across megawatts [Refrain]

He thinks he's hip, but he's a dip
Who's traveling on a petty power trip
It's such a shame he shirks all blame
And breaks the rules to always win the game
Ewww what an ego! He's no one's true amigo
When in the grip of his power trip

He pilfered public money
To build a vanity Hall
For disclosing his full Monty
Entertaining none at all.
("Tell me whyyyyy you're so vain!") [Refrain]

He's such a troll he has no soul.
Wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot pole
In his "mo' hair" suit, he's never cute
'Cause his birthday suit is LOL hirsute
Ewww what an ego from Brooklyn to Oswego!
He has no taste, an airwaves waste

[Over the Refrain]

He is the least
From west to east.

He thinks he's cool,
But he's a tool.

He's just a jerk
At play or work.

He's such a putz!
He's really nuts.
Track Name: Bipolar Vortex Boogie [Drrrama!]
BIPOLAR VORTEX BOOGIE [DRRRAMA!]

M-myyy, Mister! [Drrrama!]
You say you don't need it,
And yet you go and feed it [Drrrama!]
Lying and deceiving,
Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!]

S-saaay Sister! [Drrrama!]
You claim that you hate it,
So why do you create it? [Drrrama!]
Lying and deceiving,
Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!]

CHORUS (twice):
It's a Bipolar Vortex Boogie
It's a Bipolar Vortex Boogie
You're falsely positive,
And you're positively false!

W-whooa, Buster! [Drrrama!]
If you try to attract it,
You don't wanna subtract it [Drrrama!]
Lying and deceiving,
Cheating and a-thieving [Drrrama!]
[Drrrama!] [Drrrama!] [Drrrama!]
Track Name: Player vs. Player
Amuse me, bemuse me, you can even confuse me
But don't abuse me, never bruise me, and never (never ever) contuse me.

[I'll cruise you, I'll choose you, and in the end I will misuse you.]

Impress me, caress me, you can even possess me
But do not stress me, depress me, and never (never ever) suppress me.

[I'll get you I bet you, and I'll upset and then forget you.]

HE: Wow, I didn't see it coming.
SHE: He is such an easy target.
HE: Could it be I'm falling for her?
SHE: Now I have him in my pocket, uh-huh!

Enthuse me, infuse me, you can even peruse me
But don't refuse me, accuse me, in the end (bitter end) you will lose me.

[I'll do you, and screw you, and in the end I will undo you.]

Fascinate me, elate me, you can even captivate me
But don't deflate me, berate me, and never (never ever) violate me.

[I'll bait you, I'll date you, and in the end I'll prolly hate you.]

SHE: Ha, I made you, and then I played you!
HE: Ooh, you turned me, but then you turned around and burned me!
Track Name: Swamp Guinea
CHORUS:
(She's a) Swamp Guinea
A nosy ol' biddy
(Such a) Swamp Guinea
So mean, so skinny

(Could be) her name's Cindy Vinny
And she puts it over Jimmy
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
'Cuz Jimmy's always chorin'
While Guinea is a-snorin'
[CHORUS]

She is lackadaisy lazy
Always actin' kinda crazy
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
Still Jimmy is a-sweepin'
While Guinea is a-sleepin'
[CHORUS]

She is proud to be a bitch
And to never work a stitch
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
Jimmy's sowin' and a-mowin'
While Guinea's on her phone
[CHORUS]

Hubby hasn't got a clue
That his Guinea is a shrew
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
'Cuz Jimmy's chainsawin'
And his Guinea's just a-jawin'
[CHORUS]
BREAK
She's a little off her rocker on their porch [gossip scorch!]
Never playing with a full one on their deck [what a wreck!]

Always up to no good
She's pollutin' the 'hood
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
Still Jimmy's garden tillin'
While Guinea's just a-chillin'
[CHORUS]

She's always talkin' smack
Making dirty little cracks
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
Yet Jimmy's weed whackin'
While Guinea's sittin' back and
[CHORUS]

Looks of warmed-over death
Guinea must be doin' meth
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
Watchin' Jimmy pitchin' twigs
She's just suckin' on her cigs
[CHORUS]

Up the block she walks
In a bathrobe and her socks
(Swamp Guinea, a nutty ol' ninny)
While Jimmy's hedge trimmin'
She's above-ground swimmin'
[CHORUS]

Gotta hand it to the Guinea
She sure puts one over Jimmy!
[CHORUS REPEATED]