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Ballad of the Bard (or, "How Will Hath​-​not​-​a​-​way with Anne")

from Words Over Music (spoken word tracks) by Kathleen Martin

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This four-stanza "limerepic" of mine was published in a variety of newsletters, but I'm most proud that it can be found in the maiden issue of the quarterly magazine, "Light," alongside the contributions of John Updike, Tom Disch and other highly esteemed writers. Another alternative subtitle is "Boning Up on Your Shakespeare," which is better understood after you read all the interwoven references and bawdy entendre within it.

lyrics

Will's newlywed wife was distraught,
So A LOVER'S COMPLAINT she upbrought:
. . ."I do WHAT YOU WILL,
. . .AS YOU LIKE IT and still
Thy rod and Falstaff comfort naught."

"If thy MEASURE FOR MEASURE's oblique,
'Tis thy four plays before that be weak
. . .'Spite a fine frontispiece
. . .For the RAPE OF LUCRECE."
Then she brought his bare bodkin to cheek.

"To be or to not!" she did scream.
All the HAMLET could hear it would seem:
. . ."A pill of grim passion
. . .Is not what I fashion
To be A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM!"

Their TWELFTH NIGHT of marriage drew nigh:
"Something Moor," said dear Anne with a sigh.
. . ."If thou shew me the skill
. . .Thou possesseth with quill,
What a merry young wife would be I!"

© 1984 KAM

credits

from Words Over Music (spoken word tracks), track released August 4, 2012

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Kathleen Martin Finland

For music fans who think outside the boxy confines of genre labels, find here my original work arranged for and performed on a variety of instruments for sounds ranging from sweet to sassy and reedy to brassy; from lofty to lowdown and soulful to hoedown; from serious to silly and urban to hillbilly. I urge you to click on my production notes/lyrics before or as you push play. ☼♥ ... more

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